My rubies….

Photo by picjumbo.com on Pexels.com

I held the barbed wire gingerly…
In a foolish hope that my hand will be safe…
Just hold gently, no need to be scared…
Just then my arm was pulled by a force, i couldn’t reckon..
The pain seared my heart, and my soul screamed in anguish…
The cool breeze tried drying my tears and drops of sweat..
My outpouring of sorrow and fret..
But the source was incessant, never to be stopped..
The blood, my blood shone on the barbed wire..
The clots thickened in time..
My rubies had been spilt out, without much ado..
I fought and cried desperately..
But now, entered a calm…
A quiescence, where the pain no longer held a place..
The calm spread into my soul and silenced my fears…
And rest i did at last, my rubies in my eyes…

In search of colour…

Drab as i was, i flitted in a hurry,

I sought colour amidst my peers in a scurry..

I looked on in awe as they spread their wings, each an masterpiece…

Of the master artist of the yore..

If only i could steal some colour, i looked on in vain..

The dainty ones unaware of the sinister notions…

I tore of in the opposite direction, tears welled my eyes..

It wasn’t so easy, to become so vibrant..

I cursed my critics, what were they thinking when they called me a bore..

Then off i dived into the calm ocean to dissolve in the waters..

It wasn’t so easy, again my eyes met..

A riot of colours going hither and thither…

Omigosh! Classes or schools ! Of fish so vibrant..

They marched, or rather swam in colour coded straits…

I swam away sulking..colours were so depressing, i thought deep inside..

As i sprang from the water holding on to dear breath…

My spirit sank at the sights in the coast..

Humans, once my fellow men frolicked in the warm sands..

Basking in the sun’s glory, sans the once revered clothing..

In all the nudity, the colours and hues so vibrant..

They challenged predecessors to find the ends of the spectrum..

No longer did i run for the pot of colours..

I realised it’s well within me, the pot waiting to be unleashed..

Waiting for the one who can strike just right at the crux..

I looked above at the beaming rainbow, and drank in the sheer beauty..

In gratitude..

Blessed ..

In my heart I abhored the pandemic, for the ruins it had caused..

The vacation plans that went in vain, the blue waters of the resort a luring dream…

The kites in the sky, the gatherings for gossip..

The visits to cousins and the lazing out on beaches…

The absence of my help and unending household chores..

The screams of my kids, happy and sad..and in anger..

It was all driving me nuts, but today in the dusk as the sun did set…

As the silhouettes emerged and woodpeckers chirped…

A gentle breeze caressed my cheeks and ruffled my tired tresses…

I realised with a sigh how lucky I was to breathe this air…

How lucky I was to see the sunset and hear the delightful cries of my kids..

Though the villain had dared to invade our privacy..

But he had taken leave without much pomp or ado..

Leaving us breathing safe and sound and with a grin ear to ear..

I pray from my soul for all departed souls that they might rest in peace..

The future…where to?

As the invisible villain continues its dance of destruction…

Human minds are lost in juggling the figures and the statistics..

Of cases, deaths and recoveries and umpteen Covid issues…

Some where children are orphaned and souls cry for a decent burial..

No longer are the Rohingya or the downtrodden a part of the news..

Icebergs melt and small isles disappear so long from our maps..

Within the confines, the sighs of the prey submerge, the lockdown a contender..

Oh! what sense can be made of the piling obituary pages..

So fickle a life and we fret on the latest gadgets amiss..

The old and the young are crippled alike within the confines of their homes..

Somewhere war fumes are spewed and some celebrate their triumph over the virus…

It all reeks of a deep stench of the rot within…the humanity…

Am I the only one who feels so I doubt, coz anosmia is a common symptom they say…

From the cocoon…

I cling on to dear memories of a childhood filled in mirth..

The smell of moist earth and the drizzle, I cherish in my heart..

I who love to live in the past and replay the good old days..

For one whom, severing ties, is akin to suicide..

A great pain languishes my heart with each major upheaval..

I wonder if I will survive the high tides never mind the tsunamis..

That expectations kill and unconditional love are far fetched goals..

Some day I shall break loose and sail the tides of time…

The wind in my hair and the sun in my face shall calm my hearts pace..

Then my pal, there won’t be a coming back mind you…

Till then I shall wait, chiseling my boat and building my sails…

To stand the tests of time…

The answer…

I seek an answer as elusive as space to the endless queries in my mind.

For one who once believed in omens, I tried linking all the obvious..

From days of silence to days of mania, I swung in pendulum gongs…

I wonder where the ideas manifest, in which sulci or gyri…

The abstract paintings in my mind create a blur that nauseates…

All that was crystal clear now seems a muddy illusion…

I wait patiently for the mud to settle but lose hope in the waters..

For who can stem the breeze that blows and ripples the water..

Starry skies, silent nights and roaring waves hid the truths..

Truths I explored through souls and situations in my life..

As I walk in my nomadic strides, I look on eagerly for the glimpse of Shams…

But I get a feeling my cup is small, so it may not suffice…

Wait Oh! Master let me get a bigger cup this time.

The answers that tumble from your lips I pine to hear in vain…

Till the last question I shall wait in unabated breath, when I shall float a feather into bliss…

A train of thoughts…

Yet another dawn has arisen, no traces of the yester night, good or bad…

As the train chugs along, I struggle to calm my breath and clear my fogged lens…

Another snake glides in the opposite direction, Im safely embodied in one..

For a moment I think of the estranged souls caught in between tracks…

Oh! What pull would they fall a victim of, as either is fatal…

From the urban to country side as I meander, my mind begins to calm down..

The strains of heavenly music seek to soothe my soul…

I close my eyes in relief, everything is in place…

My kids will be safe, my family will be safe, the virus shall show mercy…

As dawns rays shine on blades of grass, I long to wade naked foot in the paddy..

To lie facing the cosmos in a directionless canoe…

And with no strings attached yet my soul longs for its mate unabashed…

As the dawn gives away to a bold day, my heart longs for the day we shall walk hand in hand…

Our hearts mirroring each other, smiling foolishly…

Oh! For a world sans judgement, where innocence rules…

Hush! Here comes the TTR and with her the harsh reality….

I love you, I love you not…

I plucked petals one by one…the decision yet uncertain…

To cry or laugh, I was unsure with the thunderbolt of emotions..

To stand still or run away, I struggled with the momentum…

To hug you or stay aloof, my heart whimpered in vain…

The starry sky and the harsh sun both revelled in beauty…

Long silences and short glances were abundant with meaning…

I longed for a glance back but with aloofness on my face…

My tongue spoke words far from truth, I looked on in despair…

But somewhere along, inspite of all, I felt the pull so strong…

It seemed our souls knew better than to fall for the obvious…

So farther though we might tread, Im sure the bond is strong…

For it isn’t the one crafted by human erring minds…

The sun shall set, the waves shall still but our souls shall blend in mirth..

And smile we shall beneath the tears, the world shall see in us…

Anew…

The buzz of the city life had stretched my nerves taut…

Too many expectations and too little time paced up my heart…

Grey hairs popped and crow legs too but heck I was busy…

Weary times had only respite in smiles of my besties…

Many a time I waited impatiently for the last and final gong…

But it seemed some life was left to be squeezed out from me…

But when least expected, the final gong struck, leaving me falling into the abyss..

Headlong I plunged, the fathoms cold and sinister…

But somewhere in the trench, some fireflies caught my sight…

They lit the path away to bliss where I would find my meaning…

Just when I thought, my path had ended, here I begin…

The new untrodden path awaits me, my heart laden with hope…

And Marching ahead I go, the explorer keen and sure…

So ‘rest’, my friend, u can wait, the journey is yet to begin…

The lyrics…

My loved ones formed the octave..my fingers stumbled upon..

At first it was a cacophony, till the notes fell in place..

The ups and downs created a hue and cry..

The new rhythms were applauded in standing ovation..

But then some keys fell silent and some real loud..

Just as I stood dumbstruck, what to make of it…

I realised the new melodies that took birth, mesmerizing my ears..

And thus I play my piano, all my notes in place…

Beauty I create from eccentric notes, that was not meant to be..

And on and on I play my band, my music sweet and loud…

Till the keys and my fingers a bond shall share..

Regret not if my fingers are stilled, for the keys still shall play…

The music I had instilled in them for aeons and aeons..